I tend to write when I can no longer keep the words in. I have decided this is not necessarily a bad thing, but I wish I had more motivation to write on other terms.
I feel like a constant lesson in life that I learn is the only thing a person has control over is how they act, what they say, and how the live their lives. No matter how good you treat people, doesn’t mean they will treat you the same. No matter how much you do for another human being doesn’t mean that they will reciprocate or be there when YOU need them to be. You can not control someone else actions, responses or feelings.
Lately things are good for such a short period of time, and then it plateaus. thankfully it doesn’t get worse or bad, or nothing I can’t handle or anything close to where I was in the past but I just get frustrated with EVERYONE in my life at the SAME time, where I just want to curl into a ball and not talk to anyone because they all bother me.
My moods lately are everywhere, and I feel like a mess, I know its lack of sleep and stress of moving at home and even at work with the new team members, expectations and desk changes; its also coming to that time of the year where everything usually falls apart.. If that doesnt happen this season I’ll certainly be surprised. This is ultimately the worst part of the year for me. September – December never really treat me well.
“Hold on, hold on to me, Cause I’m a little unsteady, a little unsteady”