Well the story of most miserable week of my life which happened last year is coming to an end. But it sure didn’t feel that way when it was happening. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.
This was Friday, I had slept at my best friends house the night before and just gone to work from there. I was filled with anxiety all day because I knew K had To go home at some point to get Eli, which didn’t end up happening, I ended up going home from work, cleaning up the disaster and bringing him to k. The meeting was the first time we had seen each other since Sunday. Things were off, I tried to explain that I felt like I was losing them. This time they didn’t deny it. But had told me they were coming home. So I kept my hope that everything would be okay. I tried to be understanding but the communication had been such an issue. I was trying to give space but I wanted to be there for them. I had asked for a hug and a kiss, I didn’t get the kiss. That’s when my heart sank and I knew they were gone.
I can’t recall if I had gone back to work of I had decided I didn’t want to go home and cry, but I would let one of my best friends drag me out to Boston Billiards instead. We talked about everything ALLLLL night long. Lots of laughs and boy did I need that, God she was a trooper for putting up with it. I had convinced myself it was over at this point and I was going to be okay, but you know how that goes. When you get home alone you end up crying like a baby and missing them like no other. But that night I paraded around like an independent woman who had no feelings. It felt good for a little while. What felt better was I didn’t have to go to work the next morning I could just be sad for myself and call it a day. I honestly don’t know how i drove 30 minutes in tears all the way back home. But I did.
A night out was what I needed but what hit me was coming home to them being gone, and Eli this time. It was not my home anymore. It felt so empty and it was overwhelming. All of their stuff still there. It was just like a bad dream. But when I woke up it was a reality instead.
I’ll probably never forget how I felt nov29-dec5th. That’s what I call a life lesson. But what I’ll always remember? Was that I survived it, became stronger from it, and found someone who made it all worth the while. I’ll probably be in tears tomorrow but that’s only because of how happy I am now compared to that day. It’ll be because I had some serious thoughts about not existing before you made me fall in love with not only you but with life again. It’ll be because even though our love story is a CRAZY one, Something, somehow has worked. It has brought out the utter best in each other to make our relationship so strong, and for that I’m thankful. 💕