This was the day. The day that made all the other bullshit okay. I say that because today, while I was spending time with one of my best friends, I got a message, and had a conversation that changed my life.
A girl started liking my photos on Instagram, and then clicked follow, and I was suspicious of this, so who do I go to when something like that happens? Well K of course, they disregarded it and said it was just some crazy girl she knows from the party house.. and I was like okay that’s weird though, because they’re only selfies, not pictures of us. K brushed it off, saying “I don’t have any clue why”(LOLOLOLOLOL)
WELL then I got an Instagram direct message… and then I was like OKAY WHAT IS THIS GIRL DOING IF SHE KNOWS ME AND K ARE TOGETHER.
That’s THE MOMENT when I found out the joke was on me.
I called K AGAIN- and was like “OKAY EXPLAIN the fact that shes sending me a personal message asking me whats up?… this doesn’t make sense if she knows were together” K’s response ” But were not together” STOP. HALT. REWIND. Excuse you? SINCE WHEN DID WE BREAK UP. because all week long we’ve talked about you coming home, and that you loved me, and were just trying to fix yourself. and I took care of your dog all week long while you were gone, DO YOU THINK I WOULD OF DONE THAT IF YOU HAD BROKEN UP WITH ME? ( and I had KNOWN it? ) SO once I hung up with K frustrated beyond all means. this is how they choose to drop the ball on me. GREAT. I get another *DING* Instagram message.
This time explaining how K had ruined her relationship with T and all these details that lined up with all the BULLSHIT K was recently putting me through. I couldn’t even believe it. I couldn’t type. All I could respond was “Can I call you???” She said ofcourse, and we talked, and we talked, and she had told me her side of the story.
We hung up, and K got the wrath of Janell that night. I have never talked to someone like that before in my life. I was disgusted. I felt betrayed. I felt like someone had ripped out my heart and tore it to pieces. ALL my worst nightmares had come true. It was the worst case scenario. The fighting and the yelling had ended. I had turned into a crying mess all in front of my friends while we were out to eat, except I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t keep any food down.
Me and the girl had started texting and sharing stories, she was keeping me updated of what was going on because she had to go back to her and her ex’s apartment to get all her stuff out. It was over. For both of us. Our lives dramatically changed together, at the time it seemed like it was for the worse, but neither of us realized it was for the best.
That girl had invited me over to the party house, the one I could never go to? and against my friends advice I decided to go. I wanted to see what was so fucking special about this place that stole K’s heart. I wanted to meet the girl who also got her heart broken that night. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to find out more about what I didn’t know.
I show up, tears and probably make up down my face, That girl had come outside to meet me, my anxiety got the best of me, and I couldn’t walk into that house without knowing what to expect and not knowing a single human being. We hugged, and fora split second I didn’t think about a damn thing. I just needed that comfort. We went inside, where everyone came to me, knowing what had happened and explained all the nitty gritty details, of what actually was happening. I was in shock, things my gut knew but I didn’t have solid proof for, things I didn’t know, or even know K was capable of. That’s when I knew it was over.
I ended up only having a few drinks, making a few new friends, and getting kissed by THAT girl. Way to make my head spin right?
Well I ended up taking her drunk ass to my home, an apartment that had been abandoned really, and had the most amazing night without losing all my morals, because NOT on the same day I meet you. LOL
now 7am comes quickly because sleep was only a few hours, and who do we hear coming up the stairs? You GUESSED it. K. ( OH NOW YOU WANT TO COME HERE?) Well yupp, more yelling and fighting and her throwing it in my face I had THAT girl in the apartment. (OH WELL) She had taken most of her things and left. Finally it was almost over.
That following week was a daze, it was an adventure of getting to know this new person in my life, and surviving and finding myself, I had certainly become lost and fighting myself on keeping K out of my life for good this time.
(This is my favorite part )
and now? THAT girl? Well ha, She is the girl that holds my heart one year later. She is the one that makes my heart feel full and calms all my anxious thoughts. She is the one that has been honest, loyal, loving and adventurous through out our entire year together. She has been nothing but the absolute best for me, and I am thankful for her everyday. I honestly believe that I HAD to go through what I did to be able to love someone the way I am madly in love with Erika. Everything happens for a reason. Everything. ❤
Not All Who Wander Are Lost 