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December. 12152016

This is my second December with her.

This is my third December working for my employer.

This is my twenty-fourth December on this earth.

Its taken a long twenty-four years, but let me tell you I am so much closer to where I want to be. Did I think that I would’ve already been to where I want to be? YES. but of course life happens, and has thrown so many obstacles in my way of getting there. But this past year? I haven’t had anything quite like it. Success in all areas of my life. I mean do I think its time that I’ve had some goodness come to me? YES but Man, I look back, and I am in god damn aw. I am so appreciative for what I have, who I’ve become, things I’ve learned, and experiences I’ve had.

They say that you don’t understand happiness until you find what sadness is like, and I’m sure I’ve heard vice versa. I truly understand that now.

There are some things I’ve learned this year about my self that I am not proud of, but things that can be certainly changed. I’ve noticed I am a HUGE worry for nothing type of person, “plan for the worst” and get anxiety before there’s even a problem “JUST IN CASE” and that is definitely something I plan on changing, which goes hand in hand with always thinking of worse case scenario, but that goes with making sure my mind, and heart are prepared for loss, which is something that I struggle with.

Next year physically I need to change, Lose this 30 lbs I’ve gained from being in a happy healthy relationship🙄 and I am also trying to grow my hair out, no more haircuts and I am embracing the awkward afro that it brings. I do know for certain though that after a year of it being boob length I’ll want another hair cut. ( If I am being honest, I just want long hair for my wedding 😂 and I actually think that and I want to feel like a princess, After that! GOOOD BYE LONG LOCKS)  One of the biggest physical changes next year is the fact that I will NEVER have to wear my retainers again 🙃😁 and Ill be doing whitening treatments to make sure that I finally have a beautiful smiled that I have only dreamed up since I was like 7. LOL  HERE COMES A MORE CONFIDENT ME.

I am so ready for all of 2017 and what it has to offer. ( for example, my credit score being over 650 once I pay off my credit cards by may, no more furniture payments or medical bills)  possibly even moving to a bigger and better place, or me and the girlfriend getting our own special place together. One thing is for sure, me and her will live together and take that next level of commitment, Something I am definitely ready for.

 

This is a huge rant, and apologize. There’s just so many thoughts in my head today!🙃🙃

 

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