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I am not good with words 

But I’m just going to go out and say what’s on my mind at this moment. 

Christmas, a time with family, a time for giving and sharing. 
I can barely stand my family. They drive me nuts, but I will surround my self around them during the holidays because they’re family and we can have a few laughs here and there. 

Presents? Well. Those I don’t expect At all and haven’t for years. As I usually can’t afford to buy any for anyone myself. It’s always tough around Christmas time. And it’s stressful since I fully support myself. But I try my best. Even if it’s homemade things, or just gift cards, or I’ll tell everyone in advance please don’t get me anything I can’t return the favor. If I get any? Well that’s great, even if its as simple as a blanket, or coloring books, or my aunts home made jewelry. I will absolutely appreciate it. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive- because to me it’s truley the thought that counts. 

That’s all I ask for, is the thought

Which is why I’m kinda bummed out right now. 

This year even though I’m working hard to pay off my debt, I did want to buy Christmas gifts for my girlfriend, her parents, my mom and grandmother and my aunt/uncle and two nieces. I had asked everyone what they wanted basically or to give me ideas, and went to town. I didn’t spend a lot because I really don’t have a lot, but with every gift I got/made there was a thought behind it. Me and erika basically went shopping together. I made my mom a blanket with Ladybugs cause they’re  her favorite and she’s ALWAYS cold. I also framed a picture of me and erika cause she’s always asking for a picture. My grandmother? Well I asked her and she mentioned slippers, so when I went shopping I face timed her to find out the style she liked by then found them and I also framed a picture of me and erika for her as well. aunt/uncle, nieces, same thing went to the stores, bargained  shopped and got the deals used coupons and I know they’re going to love them. And months prior I had asked Erika’s mom what their favorite place to eat was so I could buy them a gift certificate… 
Well I called my grandmother today to see if she had gotten Christmas presents already. She said “well I’m only getting for the girls (my two nieces) I’m giving them 50$ each that’s all I can afford”  (I spent 100$ on her, my mom, my nieces and aunt and uncle combined, mind you) 

 And I’m sitting here like what? Why couldn’t you use that 100$ and buy thoughtful gifts. Even if they’re small for the small family that you do have. Like you have 3 grand daughters. Not 2. You have a son and 2 daughters. You knew Christmas was coming. I understand not having it financially I just would think you could spend what you do have on thoughtful gifts. Instead of giving a 12 and 10 year  old cash.  And you’re excuse for giving them cash is because they’re still considered “the kids” well what happens when they turn 18? Who is going to be considered the kids then? Everyone stops buying gifts because there’s No more kids? I just don’t understand. 
But that’s just me. 

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